Amanda
19
exTPS.exAHS.
TemasekPoly.BIO
T A L K S.
July 2004
August 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
taken on tioman diving trip...
i'm bored.. lol. nothing to do at all man.. actually, it's more of me feeling not to do anything.. stayed at home the whole of today basically. honestly, i just feel like sleeping the day away. seriously man.. it's like, i dun feel like watching tv, dun feel like studying, dun feel like eating or doing any other thing except sleep. dun even feel like thinking.. =S so sian-ed..
that's basically wad i did the whole day i guess.. just slp.. or should i say trying to get to slp.. just feel very drained.. very very very tired. Time-waster in the words of Mrs Helen Chew.. lol. but i seriously wonder, how can u be wasting ur time when ur resting? HAHA. i'm still very sian-ed now.. feeling so "gong".. well, gonna pract for my test i guess.. wad else can i do??? hmm.. wait? lol.. my bed nv felt so nice before.. lol. =x wad comfort.. along with teddy.. lolx.
i think this' the first time where i type so many smiley faces in an entry.. lolx. see what i mean by my nephew brightening up my day? haha.. never see him cry of all the times i've seen him and carried him.. always so peacful and cheery. there just joy surrounding him=)
Father, i just pray that You'll blessed this little angel, keep him healthy, happy and safe. I pray that Your love will continue to be in the family and that he'll grow up to be a great servant for You. Lord, Your divine love will cover him and protect him =) God bless this child =) In Jesus' name i pray, Amen! Lord, i also pray and ask that You'll bless my godmother.. bless her with good health and prosper her in her career.
school's gonna begin again.. and heard that we'll be moving down, so there's no need to climb so many levels to get to lessons anymore.. PTL! at least my knee won't have to suffer.. lol. to be honest bout today, i'm feeling the exact opposite.. [guess wad i'm trying to say.. it's obvious] didnt go out today.. not even to my grandma's house.. felt odd the whole day.. my legs i mean.. dun wanna think bout it, but it's just there. nvm.. i shant harp on it.. no point anyway.. lol. so yep, stayed at home the whole day. had flu in the afternoon, so took medication and my long wanted sleep. =x havent been sleeping well.. cos i'm thinking too much again.. it's related to one of the previous posts... anyway, dun feel like elaborating.. lol. wanna know den ask..
so, went over to my grandma's house yesterday like always.. played with my cousins, saw relatives that i only see once a year.. though the generation's a bit odd.. some are my aunts who look more like they are my cousins.. lol. just felt odd cos they dun look that old. as usual, the adults played mahjong.. and we stayed till bout 11 plus there..
rite now, i'm waiting to see little David! just can't wait.. =)
just a short update now.. we'll see how today goes.. hehe.
me and my nephew=)
that's me carrying little David.. such a cutie:) he's only bout one half month old.. going to be 2 months by now.. really small little fella =)
it's CNY today! but sumhow, i dun really feel the atmosphere.. but it's alrite, i'm gonna get to see little David again tmr =) can't wait! hope they stay for awhile longer than the last time they came..
went for reunion dinner at my grandma's house yesterday.. but i wasnt really feeling well.. cos of the peanuts in the "Yu Sheng" thing i guess.. oddly, i've taken a dislike for peanuts now.. especially crushed nuts.. just makes me wanna puke.. we had steamboat dinner and enjoyed it.. my cousins and brother wanted to go down chinatown at night, but did not in the end.. i think.. i went to bed like really early, bout 9 plus.. but couldnt really sleep until around very very much later.. -.-" horrible. the chinatown thing has been going on for sometime already.. but everytime my uncles and aunts say that they wanna go, it ends up staying home in the end.. lol.
i hope that this chinese new yr wont be a very wet one.. unlike the past few yrs.. lol. it always seems to rain during that period.. heh. well, will prolly update another time tonight, depending wad time i get home.. and rite, gonna wear a skirt today.. haha.. those who know will know why i mention this out of the blue.. lolx.
should i just numb myself, void of all emotions? no one would approve of it.. and it's silly.
i need to learn to grow up.. need to learn to let go, understand and face reality.. wad a fairytale i've been living in. like you've told me right from the start, you can't always be there.. i can only hope and wish.. but wad for when it's obviously that it wont happen? why have things turned out like that? wad have i done wrong, and what can i do to make things right again? the problem lies with me.. that's definite. distancing while loving.. it hurts. i'm afraid. really afraid that i'll do anything wrong and make things worse when i'm trying to make things work and be better.. you've got your life, your friends.. i cant be selfish to ask for your time.. in a dilemma.. what can i do, and what should i do.. i pray, every day, that things will be better.. pray for you everyday.
apt.. very apt. "Against all odds" by westlife, feat Mariah Carey. the lyrics.. just how i feel.. listening to westlife's songs now.. it's very how i feel.. lol.
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
Oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now
'Cause l'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've qot to take
Yu Jie's hand..
firstly, Happy CNY to all! today's the eve of the eve of CNY.. no lesson in school today, had celebrations in school--concert. i think that this yr's concert is very much better above the concerts of few yrs back.. must be the people i guess =) greater atmosphere.. great job to functions for organizing and pub for the deco =) anyways, the concert ended on time! it's like surprising man.. cos it always drags.. lolx.
brought the sec ones back to TPS.. apparently the sec ones din know that i was their head prefect.. haha.. cos in different session.. den they thought that i was lying to them.. so they went to check the board for my name.. TPS had lessons today.. ms Lim was like grumbling.. lol. say not fair.. haha. talked to ms kuek, ms tan, ms lim, mrs chua, mrs ow.. ting wen, ying gi, wei hong, farish went back too.. chatted a lot lar.. den the principal keep asking to be in the alumni, which we already are since last yr.. but duno wad happened.. lolx. realised that wei hong's brother, wei cong, knew my brother.. same school and in choir also.. anyway, they happen to play the same computer game, against each other.. and wei hong actually played against my brother just yesterday, and realised it today.. -.-" lolx. wad a small world.. the thing is that the our brothers din know that we actually know each other. wow. haha.. after chatting, ms tan also asked us go back on sat to coach the kids..
went home after that and took a nap.. this week has really been tiring.. sleeping for bout 3 or 4 hrs each day.. also, my knee seems to have gotten worse.. it's like even when i walk now, it hurts =( have to wear knee guard everyday.. anyway, just came back from the doc.. he decided to treat my shoulder first as he said it was the easiest.. when he pressed, it was like super pain man! He say it was the tendon that he was injecting into.. i thought it would hurt actually. but it dint. thank God for that.. cos he was like injecting into the joint area.. my mum was like asking me if it hurt.. cos she saw the needle go in and according to her, about half of the long needle went in.. but i din think it was pain.. lolx. maybe cos the pain i went through was much worse than the injection. duno.. pls pray for me, those reading this entry and many thanks =) so, after the CNY have to go back to the doc again..
i wanna thank my godmother for being so patient with me.. she has seen the side of me that hardly anyone would get to see.. =( and it's not a good side, i'd say.. really appreciate her for taking time to reply my emails and smses.. n i wanna apologise for treating her badly.. she always so patient and loving and it really touches me.. i wish i could hug her rite now.. thank you. <3 !
this is one of the pic i took for the match against temasek.. still got lots more.. anyway, went to watch the match again today.. it was against St. Hilda's..
hmm..the cd player was not working today and we had to sing the school song without the music.. it was odd.. so off tune.. den we had to stay back and sing again, with Zheng Yi, Minqi and Yunzhen leading.. it was okies i guess.. rushed down to dunman sec from there for the match..
my knee's really swelling now.. the bump's getting bigger.. wonder how to do PE tmr.. still got loads of homework man.. anyway, just got to know the tutorial day.. it's on TUESDAY!!! it's like almost all the subjects have tutorials on that same day man.. how to like go for most of them?? especially chem and maths.. wad's more, i'll still have like tuition at night! pray that i have the strength to carry on and concentrate.. =( how.. why like that one.. thinking that tutorial will most prolly be on thurs, decided to have tuition on the other day.. now, it's just like the past.. tutorial first den tuition, all in one day.. draining.. =X
hmm.. there was sumthing that i wanted to blog bout.. just cant seem to rmb.. shall do it when it comes to mind.. =X memory's failing already.. old le.. =S oh ya! Nies has a twin!! from temasek.. lolx. look really alike to me.. esp the side view, and frm a certain angle n distance.. super look alike!
had tuition again after such a long time.. it was ok.. and Aili wasnt as fierce as i thought she'd be.. =X anyway, went over log, surds and indices again. yep. and during the whole tuition, it jsut dawned on me like so many times the things i never knew.. or really knew.. 11/2 hour passed just like that.. it was quick.. felt really fast anyway. but the last 10 to 15 min i started to stone already.. =S
i'm super tired man.. after not sleeping well or at all for the whole of last night.. that weird weird pain came again.. after 2yrs. seared through the whole of my left leg.. just imagine how horrible it was.. my left leg feeling that pain throughout the whole night, right knee also pain, but thankfully not as much when i'm laid down.. cant slp on my right shoulder (which i feel more comfortable with) and cant lie on my back cos my back will ache/hurt.. =X actually, i'm really tired now. but, i dun feel sleepy.. sounds contradicting.. but it's actually possible. on the contrary, i think i wont be able to sleep at all. well, it feels like it..
chem test today.. MCQs.. math test tmr.. actually, there will be a math test every wednesday...guess i shall take the time to catch up n go through my work, lest it does me harm to not do so..lol.
Nies!! if you've read tis, tag!! haha.. gotta catch up with ya man.. so long nv see u le..
as i type tis, i'm also typing the email which i'm not sure whether to send or not in the first place. hmm.. =( wad should i do? send or not to send?
i seriously dun feel like writing.. as in with a pen n paper.. cos my elbow n shoulder really hurts while doing so.. it's not that i doubt the expertise of the chinese physician, but i'm really wondering if it has done more harm than help for my joints.. they are more painful than before.. is it supposed to be like this? can anyone shed some light?
there's sumthing wrong with my internet connection today.. n frankly, it's rather bugging.. anyway, back to the former.. so much uncertainty i put myself in.. dreadful. it's totally uncalled for actually.. rite? silly. lol. ridiculous. sch was alrite i guess.. nothing much, except the SS test which i screwed up.. and it made my right side hurt so much as it was rushing.. (if u dun already know, it's my right elbow, knee n shoulder that's injured.. ligament thingy) oh yea, saw tis totally beautiful convertable in school today! it was a rare sight of course.. such an expensive car in the school compound.. all the students were like saying wad a beauty it was.. the roof of the car was like drawn back n every thing.. yellowish orange car, gleaming in the sun.. wow. rich owner man.. lol. very rich indeed. had to run after the bus again so i can get home early.. know i shouldnt be running very much but.. heh. it was rather awkward actually. lol. running with the knee guard on, afraid that my knee will "give way" anytime.. smsed Sab a couple of times today.. but not sure what to say.. =(
looks like i cant upload the "one pic a day" 's pic of the day.. (refer to friendster blog if it does not appear here..)
din go for svc today.. my knee's hurting man.. cant even walk properly and i'm wondering how i'm gonna handle the stairs tmr.. pray that it wont be so that bad. so, was at home the whole day.. tried to stay in my room most of the time to minimise movement n hurting. was having a terrible headache the whole day.. in fact, have been having it since friday.. argh. horrible. okies.. i shall cease to complain and whine..
cant seem to find the chinese prog software for my chinese home work.. wonder how i'm gonna be able to go bout it. looks like everyone's rather busy.. who isnt busy rite? lol. okies.. tht's a bit bitter but, forget bout it. approaching the 4th wk of this year, it's also nearly chinese new year.. think that almost everyone's facing the scenerio of parents chasing and urging kids to clean their rooms.. lolz. typical. but just a thought though.. why clean when it's always this way and no one actually goes up to see the rooms.. lolx. just a thought. my cousins share the same sentiments.. but, nevertheless, it's still a must. lol. especially since my brother and i switched rooms.. lol. there's like so much to move and tidy. hopefully i can get it done within this week.
i'm owing people a lot of things.. sorry je, but the report will b a little late.. homework still aplenty.. =X.. it's very taxing.. so little time, so many things to do.. what makes it worse is that i'm not concentrating on what i'm doing.. it's more like just going through the motion at times.. forcing myself to work and get things done.. well, enough said. mainly cos i've forgotten what i wanted to say initially.. so yep.. sch tmr.
PAIN!! EXCRUXIATING PAIN!! went to the chinese physician this afternoon.. cos my shoulder, elbow and knee has been hurting for a very very very loooonng time.. they did the electric impluses treatment first, then the heat treatment.. finally, came the "massage". it totally hurts man.. the shoulder wasnt so bad.. but when it came to the knee, i teared.. =X so embarrassing man. it was just totally PAIN! imagine man, my pain tolerance level is like super high one.. but once the physician pressed and "massaged" my knee, i was on the brink of just shouting out loud in the room.. this is her conclusion: the ligaments in my knee and shoulder and elbow are injured. no jumping, lifting of heavy objects.. i didnt even realise that my knee was already swollen until she told me.. =X was given medicine again..
i'm so sick of medicine.. kinda afraid of it already.. phobia from swallowing so many tablets.. :( went to my grandma's house in the evening..
having a terrible headache now.. not enough sleep i guess.. :( gotta go.. still need to study..
dead tired i mean.. pooped! imagine only bout 3hrs of sleep every day for the whole of tis week! it's utterly insane..it's the weekend finally.. but that doesnt mean rest too.. =X couldnt really concentrate in class..? quite alrite.. anyway, had bio test. sch ended early today..(for me as i dun have CCA) went home, took a shower n went down to Dunman Sec to support the netball girls. they played against temasek..yep. victory was ours! haha.. it started raining half-way though.. den tis pui pui rite, nearly first time see her so "peng" on court lor.. scary. after that, waited for my bro cos my dad was coming to fetch us. drove down to the Changi camp cos my dad had to pass someone there sumthing.. went home after that. i was super hungry at that time man..it was around 5plus. the only time i ate was like this morn! a breakfast bar n half a cup of milk.. lol.
had reunion dinner in the evening, at east coast there.. hence had to cancel tuition with Aili..it was so last minute man.. i hate this kinda last min things.. irritating. simply irritating. dinner was long.. 2hrs. n i'm like having a terrible headache as i was, and i am super pooped! feel like gonna knock out anytime.. lol.
oh ya, the essay today was horrible.. supposed to rewrite and improve on the previous one that i had done.. i was totally having writer's block man.. nothing constructive came out at all.. well, maybe not not at all.. sumthing came.. but it was digustingly pathetic. sigh.. lol. then just told ms ng that i simply couldnt write. i'm pmsing man.. Alwyn too! HAHA. we were both like so easily irritated today.. especially when the class was like so noisy.. we were like asking evelyn n chin meng if we could just shout at the class to shut up.. lolx. horrible noise level man.. so inconsiderate. i mean, people are trying to study here! if u all dun want to study, can at least keep it down???!!!! okies.. i'm seriously pissed at the class bout this.. the learning attitude basically.. sigh. so desperate for a more conducive environment where actual learning n studying can actually take place.. i'm not saying that the class is bad.. it's just that, there is a time for everything.. just hope that they realise it. especially since it's such an important year tis year.. it may seem like it's only the start of the year, but time really flies extra fast now.. it's not that long before we see the O' lvl papers rite in front of us, and realise that we arnt prepared for it. get back to reality guys!!! the teachers are rite!! it ain't no more a honeymoon period! argh.
i'm tired..... so tired.
sch ended slightly earlier today.. cos ppl watching jack neo's movie.. "i not stupid 2".. the screening was at tampines mall.. jack neo was there.. can u imagine like the whole place packed with AHS students.. talk bout the noise! wow. Mickymeow came back to AHS.. had lunch with her, visit the teachers with her.. n watched match also.. our guys against Chai Chee.. i'm sure that it's gonna be a trashing game.. today was ok i guess.. was kinda "pissed". emotional actually. pissed at myself of course.. sorry to evelyn for having to see what i was doing.. =x hmm.. i think the teachers are like so uptight till they themselves mess things up.. like ms tay, said tis week have chem test but it's supposed to be next wk. then all the HCL students studied for chem n chinese! mugged like crazy man.. not forgetting a day includes homework. =.= today as well..mdm ho initially said that there was bio test on thursday, which is supposed to be today.. mugged till so late last night only to realise tis morning that there's no bio lesson today. =.=" oh man.. i'm like so tired and there's still loads of work to be done, with even more work to come.. stressed man! lol.. so, bio test's tmr.. still owe a LOT of chinese homework.. i'm pooped. =.=
ah-bish.. that's a hit to get back to reality..spasticated.
constipated.
distracted.
irritated.
sorry if ppl have had to experience such and awful side of me.. been out of sorts lately basically.. n i've come up with some sicko timetable that i hope that i can follow.. otherwise wad's the point of making one rite. anyway, it's the 3rd wk of school already.. i seriously have no comments on it.. as if.. haha.. but i shant. not that i dun want to.. in a way.. but it's just so.. argh. lol. have to blame it on me as well.. i'm very afraid of the "breaking down" thingy again.. =x wad in the world is happening man!? from such a disciplined person i was, i've become nothing.. this sounds totally pessimistic n wadever.. but that's wad it is! >.< wow.
the whole world's spinning.. vertigo.
confused.
JAng, this is confused.. even though u dun read blogs..
i do not recognize..
a shadow? or is it something else?
changed.. but not in a very desirable way?
think so.. how come?
why?
thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday :)
Foreign land...
Foreign time...
Foreign space...
Foreign people...
The simplest duration...
The simplest period...
Simplicity at its best?
Thank you for the simplicity of it all...
Don't know...
No intention of ever doing so..
Just leave it simple..
That's the best of it all... ?